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What if Andrew Puzder Were Your Boss?

Andrew Puzder was nominated as secretary of labor, and hearings for his nomination, though postponed, are going to happen soon. As reporters and pundits are examining Puzder's record, we thought it would be interesting to imagine what it would be like to actually work for Puzder. This is speculative fiction, of course, but based on the things he's said and done over the years. Here's what we think it could be like to work for Puzder.

Monday

  • You start working for Puzder earning just above the minimum wage. If you continue to work for Puzder for several decades, your inflation-adjusted salary might go up by a cent or two. You will never get benefits or pension, no matter how long you work for him (read more).
  • Puzder tasks you to research options for eliminating your job and most of those of your co-workers and replacing them with machines.

Tuesday

  • You are forced to work overtime, but not paid overtime wages. Puzder says your reward is a "sense of accomplishment" and "stature" (read more).
  • Upon reading the details of your "retirement plan," you learn that Puzder makes no employer contributions and is well below the industry standard (read more).

Wednesday

  • It's your day off, but Puzder sends a flunky by your house, demanding that you go into work (read more).
  • After going in, you see a fellow co-worker get burned on the job. Puzder's previous policies make sure that your co-worker doesn't get compensation for the injury, is docked for the time off and, when he or she complains about it, loses their job (read more).

Thursday

  • A hurricane hits your town, but you are required to go to work anyway (read more).
  • Puzder successfully lobbies Congress to reduce the minimum wage. Your pay is adjusted down as a result (read more).
  • During production meetings for a new ad campaign, Puzder shows you new ads that feature scantily clad women dancing, despite it being an ad for food. Puzder is super happy about the ad (read more).

Friday

  • On pay day, your salary is low enough that you are forced to apply for supplemental security, food stamps and Medicaid. You read a news article in the paper showing that Puzder will make more than $10 million a year as your boss. You ask for a raise and are denied without any explanation (read more).
  • Over the weekend, you notice that your paycheck is short. When you complain about it, your supervisor tells you that it will be "taken care of." It never is (read more).